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JOKES
Young
Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her."
Dad: "That happens
in every country, son."
The most effective way to remember
your wife's birthday is to Forget it once.
Why do married men
gain weight while bachelors don't? Bachelors go to the fridge, see
nothing they want, then go back to bed. Married guys go to bed, see
nothing they want, then go to the
fridge.
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Got Milk?
A not
necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science
classroom,
staring at a question on the final exam
paper.
The question directed:
"Give four advantages of
breast milk."
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble
whatever came into
his
head, hoping for the best:
1.
No need to boil or heat up.
2. Never goes sour.
3.
Available whenever necessary.
So far so good - maybe. But the
exam demanded a fourth answer.
Again, what to write? Once more,
he sighed. He frowned. He scowled,
then
sighed
again.
Suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and
triumphantly, he
scribbled his definitive answer:
4.
Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.
He received
an A.
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Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
Are you harboring a fugitive? -Hu
Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. -Kum Hia Nao
Small Horse -Tai Ni
Po Ni
Stupid Man -Dum Gai
Did you go to the beach? -Wai Yu So
Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table. -Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you
need a face lift. -Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here. -Wai So
Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? -Hao Long Wei Ting?
I
thought you were on a diet -Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away
zone. -No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? -Wai
Yu Sing Dum Song?
You are not very bright. -Yo So Dum
I got
this for free. -Ai No Pei
I am not guilty. -Wai Hang Mi
Please
stay a while longer. -Wai Go Nao?
They have arrived. -Hai Dei
Kum
Stay out of sight. -Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile.
-Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive. -Yu Stin Ki
Pu
THE HAMMER
A man is in
court for murder and the judge says,
"You are charged with
beating your wife to death
with a hammer."
Then a voice
at the back of the court yells,
"You blah!"
The judge
glares and then continues, "You are
also charged with beating
your mother-in-law
to death with a hammer."
Again the
voice at the back of the court shouts,
"You Blah!"
The
judge angrily addresses the voice and says,
"Now, we cannot have
any more of these outbursts
from you or I shall charge you with
contempt. What
is the problem anyway?"
The man at the
back of the court who's been
shouting calls out, "Fifteen years
I lived next
door to that blah and, every time I asked to borrow
a hammer, he said he didn't have one! ..."
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